Beginnings Part 3 - Confusion in Shinar City

Beginnings Part 3 - Confusion in Shinar City
A Journalistic Journey Through the Book of Genesis
by Glenn W. Fisher

A Note From the Author:
Beginnings is a biblically-based fantasy. The reader is asked to imagine that newspaper reporters were present when Adam and Eve were evicted from the garden and that curious onlookers greeted the Ark when it landed in Armenia. The reporter’s stories reflect the views and values of secular America, but the issues are timeless and universal.

This book is for the religious person, secure in his or her faith, who wants to examine the biblical stories from a different viewpoint. It is also for those, religious or not, who do not recognize that the stories in their daily newspaper are as old as Genesis.

Read Part 1 - The Evil Gene
Read Part 2 - A New Start

~*~
THE SHINAR GAZETTE
Serving the Tigris Euphrates Valley
Vol. 5, No. 5

Economist Predicts Prosperity
BY CYNTHIA OLSEN

Shinar City–“Shinar City’s economic boom is unprecedented,” said the lead-off speaker at the first Shinar Economic Development Conference. Professor Ralph Put, head of the Economics Department at Shinar University, painted a rosy picture of present and future economic conditions in the Valley. After reviewing recent economic history, he expressed confidence that population growth and economic prosperity will continue in the foreseeable future.

He said, “Since the beginning of large scale immigration into this fertile plain, economic and population growth has been astonishing.” Professor Put added that Shinar City’s location on the Euphrates River, its nearness to the Tigris River, and the fertility of the soil gives it an economic advantage. That advantage is leveraged by the intelligence and energy of people who have come here in search of a better life.

Professor Put reported that Shinar City has reached the “takeoff stage,” which he defined as the point at which economies of scale become so great that a city’s natural advantages are compounded. “Size and the accompanying private and public amenities themselves become factors in growth.” He urged city officials to continue to improve the public infrastructure and provide tax and other incentives for local business expansion as well as incentives for new businesses willing to locate or relocate in Shinar City.

Shammu, the well-known motivational speaker, addressed the conferees at lunch time. He pointed out that anything is possible if you believe in yourself. He urged his listeners to begin each day by repeating the mantra, “Today, I believe in myself. Today, I’ll work hard. Today, I’ll accomplish great things for myself, my family, and my city.”

The conference will continue tomorrow when small groups will discuss ways of growing their businesses, and the conference will end after dinner with an announcement that conference organizers say will be the best news Shinar City has ever had.

~*~
THE SHINAR GAZETTE
Serving the Tigris Euphrates Valley
Vol. 5, No. 6

World’s Tallest Building for Shinar City!
BY CYNTHIA OLSEN

Shinar City—At the final session of the Shinar Area Economic Development Conference, it was revealed that the world’s tallest building will be built in Shinar City. It will be designed by the world’s most famous architect, Frank L. Davis. After the announcement, Davis unveiled a breathtaking drawing of the building. It is a circular tower encircled by a narrow stairway that spirals upward toward the heavens. The beauty of the river and the plain beyond is visible, but the splendor of the tower overshadows nature’s beauty.

Davis reminded listeners of the innovative architectural techniques that have made Shinar City the world’s most beautiful city. “I originated the idea of building in stepped stages. The gardens on each terrace are in perfect harmony with the environment. Visitors climb comfortable, people-friendly stairs to reach flower-covered terraces. They enjoy the gardens, view the surrounding countryside, and meditate or pray to whatever god they wish.” He added that previous architects built dark, stone boxes that were more like animal caves than homes for human beings. My buildings have freed man’s soul to soar to the heavens and become part of the universe.”

Davis paused, pointed his cane at the sketch of the tower, and dramatically exclaimed, “Now it is time to move on. This tower will soar to the heavens and open a new phase in the history of architecture and the history of the world.”

He described the new building as a monument to the individualism and the power of creative thinking that has made this city great. It will be a fitting symbol of our society. Those who would climb will find few places to rest. To succeed the climber must focus upon the goal and forsake all else. “Old ways, old friends, old religions, and old superstitions must be left behind.”

When a member of the audience asked if the building would reach Heaven, Davis smiled and said, “I don’t know just how far it is to Heaven, but we’re going to build higher than anyone has ever built before.” Then he added, “If we do get to Heaven, we’ll invite God to come and see our city. Most of his time on earth has been spent on that little farm in Eden. I’d like for him to see what great architects can create.”

Henry Jamin, president of the Shinar Chamber of Commerce, thanked Davis and said that it was a tribute to Shinar City that he chooses to live and work in our city. “We have low taxes. We have skilled workmen and superb contractors. We don’t have bickering political parties. We have common ancestors. We have a great university, the best entrepreneurs, and strong financial institutions. There is no limit to what we can accomplish if we keep faith in ourselves.”

~*~
THE SHINAR GAZETTE
Serving the Tigris Euphrates Valley
Vol. 5, No. 31

CITY STRUCK BY DISASTER!
Confusion Reigns as Citizens Lose Ability to Communicate
BY CYNTHIA OLSEN

Shinar City–City life, as we knew it, ceased at 7:48 a.m. yesterday when thousands of residents lost their ability to communicate. Health authorities believe that the victims’ central nervous systems have been attacked by a previously unknown virus. Victims appear to lose all ability to use verbal communication and wander about the city making animal-like sounds. They respond to questions by grunting louder, by producing high-pitched singsong sounds, by turning away, or becoming hostile.

The inability to communicate manifests itself in frustration and leads to various kinds of bizarre behavior. One man, jabbering loudly, stands atop a construction site and threatens pedestrians with bricks. Police have cordoned off the area, and they warn pedestrians to stay away.

As afflicted individuals wander about, they sometimes seem to recognize that others are making similar sounds and begin what appears to be a conversation. People rush from group to group, listen briefly, and move to another group. Harvey Horsham, a well known scribe, spent most of the day trying to communicate with members of different groups. He said they seem to be communicating using different “tongues” or “languages.”

Communication difficulty has paralyzed the city and caused numerous personal tragedies. One child became separated from his parents and was taken in by a group of individuals not afflicted by the disorder. Later his parents attempted to retrieve him, but they could not make themselves understood and were driven away. A few minutes later, a group of armed policemen took custody of the child and returned him to his parents. A spokesman for the group of normal individuals said that this was an outrageous act. “The child would have been better off with people who can speak. He will suffer, and the politicians responsible will be held accountable at the next election.”

Mayor Abiden vowed to wage war on those responsible for the disaster. “We don’t know who they are, but they are terrorists who have used a weapon of mass destruction against peaceful people. We will find them and bring them to justice before they can strike again.”

A law enforcement agency spokesman said that hostile tribesmen may have infiltrated into the city and contaminated wells with toxic plants from the desert. “We know that some tribes are hostile to modernization and jealous of the progress we have made. Our intelligence agencies report that some tribes have men skilled in the use of poisons, and large stockpiles of poisonous materials are hidden in the desert.

Chief of Police Nadab said that the department was handicapped by the inability of many officers to communicate, but the department is making all possible efforts to treat the affected officers and to recruit new ones. He pledged that the Shinar Police Department will pursue every possible lead and asked the public to report any suspicious persons. “The evil perpetrators will be brought to justice and future threats eliminated.”

The central market is closed, but a spokesman for the board of directors said it will reopen tomorrow. “It is important that business continue, and reopening the market will signify to the perpetrators of this atrocity that they have not brought this city to its knees.”

Construction has stopped, but contractors say that they will resume work as soon as they develop ways of communicating with the afflicted workers. The Gazette will continue publication, but, because the afflicted cannot read, the press run will be smaller. Ralph Yeager, director of the Gazette Personnel Department, will announce layoff plans as soon as the size of the press run is determined.

~*~
THE SHINAR GAZETTE
Serving the Tigris Euphrates Valley
Vol. 5, No. 50

PERPETRATOR REVEALED: GOD RESPONSIBLE
BY CYNTHIA OLSEN


Shinar City—The Gazette’s team of investigative reporters has established that the disaster that struck Shinar City is God’s punishment on people he judged to be arrogant.

God is not well known in Shinar City, but he is said to have visited the city before deciding to take the drastic step of confusing our speech. Several witnesses say they observed him examining the great piles of burned brick and bitumen near construction sites. He listened as people boasted about this great city. One witness, who asked not to be identified, said that God told him he was considering confounding our speech after he heard a high official said that the God superstition is outdated, and that the Shinar Tower would be an eternal monument to Man’s greatness.

The witness claimed that God muttered aloud, “Maybe they are right. If they all work together, they will be as smart as I am–or at least they will think they are.”

After he was informed of our team’s findings, Mayor Abiden called those of his advisers who had not been affected by the malady into a secret session. This reporter spoke to one participant in the conference who would only say that there was a wide difference of opinion as to how to proceed. Several thought that the city should immediately try to communicate with God, but the others claimed that this newspaper’s investigation was flawed and that no action should be taken until God’s role is confirmed. Our informant pointed out that nobody really knew how to communicate with God. “We’ve been so busy building and making money that nobody has given much thought to God. I don’t think anybody on the council would know how to address him.”

~*~
THE SHINAR GAZETTE
Serving the Tigris Euphrates Valley
Vol. 6, No. 31

DISASTER RECALLED
REPORT ISSUED ON ANNIVERSARY
BY CYNTHIA OLSEN

Shinar City—On the first anniversary of the tragedy, Elon, leader of the commission appointed to study its effects, handed the mayor a report detailing the profound social and demographic consequences of the disaster.

“There has been a significant loss of community identity. Those who can understand each other (speak the same language) tend to avoid contact with those whom they cannot understand.” The report contains tables and maps showing that many localities are populated by a single language group.

The report says that segregation has been accompanied by social tension that has sometimes escalated into violence as residents find themselves trapped in changing neighborhoods. One resident who testified before the commission tearfully said that her grandfather had built the house when it was a respectable neighborhood. “My whole life and the life of my children are bound up in this home. Now we are surrounded by people we can’t even talk to. Children can’t understand their playmates.” She added that she was not prejudiced against people who had been afflicted by the disorder but couldn’t understand why they didn’t get busy and learn how to speak properly.

According to the report, communication difficulties have greatly impacted economic life. Authorities have canceled construction of several ziggurats. The superintendent of construction of one of the largest told the investigative team that it was necessary to cancel construction, not only because workmen had difficulty communicating, but also because of disputes over the language to be used in the inscriptions.

Because of a newfound interest in God, there are plans to construct several worship temples, but disputes over language are holding up some projects. The superintendent of construction of a worship temple in Precinct Nine canceled all contracts, and said that he will call for bids on two smaller buildings. One will serve Shinar-speaking worshipers, and one will serve those speaking a language called Greek.

Ralph Ludim of the consulting firm of Ludim and Peleg protested that the decision to cancel the project in Precinct Nine had been premature. He suggested that the plans for the large temple could be modified to include inscriptions in both languages, and two sanctuaries could be built on the top level so that the two language groups could worship at the same time.

This reporter interviewed residents of the area and found widespread objection to sharing space with another language group. Richard Jarvan, a resident of the area, voiced a widely held objection. “We would still hear them. I just couldn’t worship knowing that people on the other side of a wall are speaking that ugly language.” Jarvan added that he is not prejudiced against those who speak a different language, but that other languages don’t belong in a worship service. He also pointed out the practical difficulties of sharing a building. “It would be hard to find maintenance people who speak both languages.” Dennis Shallum, a priest, suggested using a language called Latin for the worship service. “Only a few people speak it, but God would understand.”

City Planning Director Talmon explained that two buildings would be more costly and the results far less impressive, but he shrugged and said, “It’s just another cost of allowing people to have a say in their own affairs. Sometimes I think that people are infected with a gene that makes them selfish. Everybody wants his own way.”

Jacob Madai, superintendent of construction for the Madai Construction Group, announced that he had halted all activity at the Shinar Tower construction site. Madai explained that on a project of this magnitude it was just too dangerous to use workmen who don’t communicate well. Frank L. Davis, the tower architect, is bitter. “God was just jealous. He gave us the ability to create things and then interfered when we used that power.”

The government has announced that Ralph Jefferson has been named Minister of Localities. His newly created department will deal with the problems created by language diversity. He told the reporters, “We may have to create a federal government. It is absolutely essential that foreign and military affairs remain centralized, but we should allow the localities to run their own educational and criminal justice systems and permit children to learn the local language. The Shinar language will remain the language of business and government.”

Representatives of several language groups oppose the compulsory teaching of the Shinar language. A common response is, “If we speak their language, they will dominate us.”

The loss of population in the central city has drastically impacted economic life. Data in the report show that construction activity has declined sharply, although some small projects have continued. The business leaders that we interviewed say the picture is mixed. The owner of one construction company, who asked not to be identified, said that his profits have increased sharply. “The price of building materials is down, and we are able to hire cheap labor.” He added, “Of course they can’t speak our language, but if I show them what to do and yell a lot they get it done.” He admitted that the accident rate is up. “We post the safety rules, but many can’t read them.” He refused to comment when asked if he paid taxes on the non-Shinar-speaking workers.

Our research shows that not all occupations have been affected adversely. The Communication Department at the Shinar University has been renamed the Language Department. Professor Raama said, “It’s opened up a whole new field of research. We knew that things could have more than one name, but we didn’t realize there could be different systems of grammar.”

The university is building a number of labs in which language informer’s work with graduate students. The students will write grammar books and dictionaries for each new language. “It’s been very exciting; we expect to award many more PhDs.”

Chamber of Commerce President Jerez gave the economic numbers a cheerful spin. He denied that the decline in population had adversely affected the overall level of business activity. Construction and manufacturing employment are down, but this has been offset by an increase in foreign trade. “All those new localities want to trade, and that has created lots of new jobs. Firms have to hire translators and lots of clerks are needed to fill out all the new customs forms.”

© 2005 Glenn W. Fisher

Read Beginnings, Part 1 - The Evil Gene
Read Beginnings Part 2 - A New Start
This is Beginnings Part 3 - Confusion
Watch for Beginnings Part 4 - Administration

Comment on this story at Aliens Pub.

Beginnings Part 2 - A New Start

Beginnings Part 2 - A New Start
A Journalistic Journey Through the Book of Genesis
by Glenn W. Fisher

Read Part 1 - The Evil Gene

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The Journal
Vol. 23, No. 14

Crime Rate Soars
BY HERMAN BRINKMAN

The latest reports show that crime is rampant in our county. A report released yesterday by the county sheriff reveals that burglaries have increased by ten percent, rapes by fourteen percent and murder by eighteen percent. Only one precinct has had no increases in any category.

Homer Bradshaw, author of the recent book The Criminal Society, says that the problem is worldwide. “In 95 percent of the world’s families someone has committed a crime or been a victim of a crime in the last three years.” He goes on to add that the statistics, horrible as they are, understate the problem. “With police so overworked, most people don’t bother reporting minor burglaries or simple assaults.”

Domestic crimes, such as wife beating and child abuse, are reported even less frequently. Bradshaw explains that the statutory language “He shall rule over you” makes it difficult for police to intervene in events occurring within a home. This position is supported by the powerful Civil Liberties Association. The attorney for the association points out that the word “rule” implies sovereignty. The powers of a sovereign are absolute within a jurisdiction unless limited by a treaty or duly adopted constitution. Police may not enter another sovereign territory unless proper authorities have granted express permission. By extension, police may not enter a private home unless invited by the head of the house or authorized by a constitutional court order. A spokesman for the association stated, “It is unfortunate that brutal acts go unpunished, but in the long run every man, woman, and child would suffer if the state is allowed to compromise the sanctity of the home.”

Experts agree that the rapid increase in population is a factor in the rising incidence of crime, but they cite many other contributing factors. Professor Joseph Steiner of the Hebrew Theological Seminary cited the decline in religious faith. In the past, many people believed that there is a God who punishes wrongdoing. That idea has largely disappeared. Modern people, especially the younger generation, devote most of their time and energy to their careers. They work hard, play hard, and dislike following rules. “If it feels good, do it,” is a popular motto.

The most controversial explanation of the increase in crime is advanced by James K. Smith, author of the recent book Evil Genes. Several years of historical and medical research have convinced him that a gene transmitted from primates predisposes men and women to lives of crime and violence. He claims to have gained admission to a jungle area in Eden where he found the suspected gene in the blood of several primate species.

Dr. Randolph Rainey, recently elected head of the Medical Society, dismisses the book as an interesting work of fiction. “Smith could not have obtained access to the Eden jungle. It’s completely inaccessible. Furthermore, there is not a single article in a reputable medical journal that supports the theory that genes cause criminality.”

Smith cites the low crime rate in Precinct Fourteen in support of this theory. In his book, he says that tests of a scientifically selected sample of Precinct Fourteen residents did not turn up a single carrier of the OS gene. “It can’t be a coincidence that this precinct is the only one in the world where the crime rate is not rising.”

Dr. Rainey retorts that this kind of negative evidence proves nothing. “There are very few cases of measles in Precinct Fourteen, but that doesn’t prove that measles causes crime.” Rainey also points out that Smith tested only a very small sample of residents. “Mr. Noah, head of the leading family in the precinct, is something of a recluse, and when he found out about the testing, he ordered it stopped.”

Smith said that he would call a public meeting and invite scientists and representative of the Evil Gene Society to debate the issue. “We think the public should learn about the evil gene theory and then people can make up their own mind.” He added that the society would seek a law that requires the Evil Gene Theory to be taught in the public school.


#
The Journal Opinion Page
Vol. 23, No. 16

Crime Rate Troublesome

The Journal Editorial Board is gravely concerned about crime in our community. Police reports show that crime rates are high and rising in every precinct except one.

We are personally affected. The daughter of a member of our editorial staff has been raped, and the son of another died of AIDS contracted from dirty needles. The paper itself has suffered. Defalcations by our trusted bookkeeper, aided and abetted by our auditing firm, have so reduced cash flow that we have had to lay off workers.

Nevertheless, it is important to keep perspective. Rumors magnifying the danger and fanciful stories in the tabloid press about fallen angels fathering giant babies produce undue concern.

Residents of the area enjoy economic prosperity and personal freedoms unequaled in the history of the world. Employment is up and will rise further when construction begins on the recently announced entertainment/casino complex. This development will bring money into the area and provide new tax revenue. The legislature will be able to cut the tax rate and provide counseling centers for those who become addicted to gambling.

We urge legislators and citizens alike to resist the special interest groups that use fear of crime to justify government regulation. There is no evidence that pornography causes crime or that smoking marijuana leads to hard drug addiction. The nation’s experience with prohibiting alcohol shows that prohibition only increases crime.

The Board believes that censorship laws are unnecessary. The movie industry’s rating system provides a guide to parents who want to protect their children. Clubs and casinos do a fine job of excluding children from the adult shows. The gentleman’s clubs are discreetly out of sight of those who might be offended by them.

Individual initiative made our country great, and we can solve this problem if we put responsibility where it belongs–on the individual. We urge our readers to spend more time with their children. Teach them to be honest. Tell them that crime does not pay and ask the local school to offer conflict resolution classes. Teach your children how to handle guns safely. Urge them to use alcohol in moderation. Make sure they practice safe sex.

Citizens should get involved in local affairs, volunteer for community service activities, and support the United Charities. Ask United Charities to allocate more money to child protection, drug treatment, and the Second Chance for Offenders program.

The Editorial Board.

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The Journal
Vol. 24, No. 21

Mystery Construction Project Underway
UNIVERSAL BUSINESS NEWS SERVICE
SPECIAL TO JOURNAL

Noah, a prominent resident of Precinct Fourteen, recently installed a sawmill on his property. He and his three sons are busy cutting nearby cypress trees. It appears that a major construction project is under way, but they refuse to say what they are building.

Noah responded to requests for an interview with a polite refusal. “I’ll make a public announcement at the proper time, but for now I have no comment.”

The Noahs live a quiet life as grain farmers, but they appear to be expanding their business to include a diversified livestock operation. Neighbors say that they don’t know a great deal about the family. On occasional visits to a nearby pub, they eat and drink sparingly and have never been known to visit The Casino. Doormen at the gentleman’s clubs report that none of the Noah men have ever patronized their club.

Noah’s wife and daughters-in-law are active on the boards of several charitable organizations. Alice Halley, the president of the Music Club, says they are faithful in carrying out assigned duties and give generously to the scholarship funds.

Noah himself spends lots of time walking. One neighboring farmer reports that he talks to some invisible companion as he walks. “I think he has some kind of altar in the woods, but I’ve never been close enough to see what it is.”

Noah’s banker refused to discuss his financial records, but he did say that Noah was absolutely honest. “I’d lend him anything he wants on a signature loan.” He refused to say whether Noah had secured a loan to buy the sawmill or finance the construction project.

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The Journal
Vol. 24, No. 40

Construction Plans Revealed; Builder’s Sanity Questioned
BY HERMAN BRINKMAN

At a news conference yesterday, Noah announced that the Lord told him the world is going to be destroyed. “The Lord is distressed with all the wickedness in the world. He considered killing everybody, but decided that I am righteous, and that he would spare me, my family, and some breeding stock.”

Obviously excited, Noah explained that he is building a large boat. He called it an ark. After he, his family, and the livestock enter the boat, the Lord will close the door and cause it to rain for forty days. “Unless people turn from their evil ways, the whole earth will be covered, and everything that breathes will drown.”

This announcement created anger, amusement, and concern in the community. Many reacted angrily to Noah’s arrogance. Chris Morris, president of the United Charities Board, declared, “Imagine thinking you are the only righteous person in the world, and that some god has singled you out to be saved.” Morris thought for a moment and added, “Come to think of it, he does deserve to be famous. He must have both the world’s biggest ego and the world’s most active imagination.”

A resident of Precinct Thirteen, who asked us not to use his name, said, “I always thought there was something strange about the guy. He is polite and easy to do business with, but he has a superior attitude.” He added, “I once told him some great traveling salesmen jokes, and he barely smiled.”

The sheriff expressed concern. “That precinct has the lowest crime rate in the county. If that guy goes off his rocker and kills a lot of people, it will ruin the record.”

County officials report that no building permit has been issued. The county engineer said, “The county commission has never adopted a construction code for boats, but if he asks for a building permit, I’ll have to issue it. I’ll classify it as a miscellaneous building. That means that the structure can’t be more than forty-five feet high.”

The archives contain no information about this “Lord” that Noah says talks to him. There is an entry for “landlord,” a mythical being who is said to have created man. According to old traditions, the landlord placed man in a beautiful garden, and then expelled him for misbehavior.

Worship of the landlord has largely died out, but continues in remote areas and among certain sects. An accusation that Noah is a member of one of these sects was fueled by the recent book Evil Genes. The author, John K. Smith, claims to have traced a connection between the garden myth and the low crime rate in Precinct Fourteen.

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The Journal
Vol. 145, No. 97

Ark Nearly Complete
BY JOHN DAVIS

It has been 120 years since Noah and his sons installed the sawmill and began construction of the giant, landlocked boat called The Ark. All seems to have gone well. The county engineer reports that Noah follows every regulation. There were a few complaints about construction noise and the odor created by the growing herd of livestock, but neighbors report that Noah or his sons have responded to every complaint in a courteous manner.

Construction has been slowed because Noah often takes time off to preach about the need to return to “The Lord.” Many who visit the site say that Noah often stops work to lecture them about the god that he claims talks to him. This has caused some to stop visiting the site, but it remains a popular tourist attraction. Residents often take their visitors to see the crazy man and the boat that he is building miles from water. Children enjoy looking at the large collection of animals, and teachers sometimes bring classes to see animals not normally found in this area.

Some who earlier expressed outrage at Noah’s claim to be the only righteous man now find it humorous. Charlie Morrison, the locally popular comic, unveiled his new show, The Flood, at a recent Tigers Club meeting. He advised members of his audience that they can get a free around-the-world cruise if they repent of their sins and ask Noah to take them along. He added that the chances of acceptance will be greater for those who agree to muck out the livestock deck. He counseled the audience, “If you don’t go on the cruise, at least make sure your flood insurance is paid up–and don’t make any long-term investments.”

James Anderson, editor of this paper, was master of ceremonies at the club luncheon. At the conclusion of the show, he thanked Charlie for the advice but urged members not to cancel their subscriptions to the paper. “I’ll personally refund the value of the unused subscription to everybody who drowns.”

Ironically, members of the audience were greeted by an unprecedented downpour as they left the building. Two days later the heavy rain continues. We’ll consult statisticians and meteorologists as to the odds of such a coincidence and publish the result in a later edition.

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The Journal
Vol. 146, No. 117

Disastrous Flood Ends

Flood waters have receded from most parts of this city more than a year after the beginning of the most disastrous flood in history. The residents who survived the flood are burying the dead and attempting to resume normal life. Communication with neighboring cities is slowly being reestablished.

The flood began with a forty-day rain that meteorologists and civil disaster experts agree was unparalleled by any storm for which records exist. The chief meteorologist at the local weather station said that he was unable to explain a forty-day rain. “Even a perfect storm wouldn’t last for forty days. It simply isn’t in the textbooks.”

City streets are blocked by debris and covered with mud. The stench of rotting animals and stagnant water is overpowering. Residents are clearing paths around the largest piles of logs, but have been able to move or burn some of the piles of brush and building materials. Health experts have conscripted labor to bury dead animals and they warn that all water should be boiled before drinking it or using it for cooking.

There is intense interest in the fate of Noah, who predicted the flood, sailed off in a large boat which he called an ark, and is now reported to be safe in Armenia. One resident, who asked not to be named, claimed that when the waters began to rise, he begged Noah to take his wife and small son aboard, but that his pleas were ignored. “They both died, and Noah is responsible.” Many of the people we interviewed say that Noah must have known something. Many ask, “Who is this Lord that he talked about?”

This newspaper will send a reporter to interview Noah as soon as possible. Unfortunately, transportation facilities are so badly damaged that it may be many months before a reporter can reach Armenia and return with the story.

Editor’s Note: We were able to salvage one printing press and some plastic-wrapped rolls of newsprint. This enabled us to print this brief, limited edition. We hope to resume full publication in a few weeks.

#
The Journal
Vol. 146, No.200

Religious Revival Sweeps Country
BY JOHN DAVIS

Residents struggling to rebuild their homes and businesses are also rebuilding an almost forgotten faith in God. Among the survivors are some older people who remember their forefathers telling of a god (sometimes called Lord or the landlord) who created the world, asked that man worship him, and demanded that his laws be obeyed. Unfortunately, few know how to worship or just what the laws are.

Some information comes from the survivors of a group called the Evil Gene Society. Leaders say that the fellowship had a small but loyal membership before the flood. “We kept a low profile because many people regarded us as a fanatical sect, and our faith was often dismissed as superstition. Scientists were especially scornful of our belief in the OS gene.” The spokesmen added, “We hired a scientist to prove that the gene existed. He concluded that it was impossible to prove, but he did assure us that it’s impossible to prove that it doesn’t exist.”

After further questioning, the spokesman admitted that the sect's knowledge of God and his laws is incomplete. “Noah probably knew more than anybody. He talked to God almost every day, and God talked to him a lot.”

Steven Trent, formerly manager of The Casino, is heading a group to investigate the matter. He said, “This couldn’t have been a coincidence. That guy Noah had inside information or he controlled the game. Whichever it was, I want to be on his side.” Trent added that he would personally finance the investigation. “Perhaps there is some archival material that has survived the flood. Some people may remember stories passed down by parents and grandparents.” He plans to interview those who might have information and to hire trained historians to compile and analyze their stories. He concluded by saying, “Noah is the key. I’ll spend whatever it takes to find him and bring him back.”

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The Journal
Vol. 147, No. 4

Noah in Jail
BY JOHN DAVIS

After many months, the expedition sent to find Noah returned with the news that Noah is in jail in Armenia. Steven Trent, who helped finance his trip, called a meeting of those interested in hearing his report.

The leader of the expedition, Samuel Lowery, told those in attendance that they found the ark high on the slopes of Mount Ararat. Local residents who witnessed the landing say that the door to the Ark remained unopened until the waters receded and the ground dried. Then Noah, his family, and the animals came out. Animals and people seemed delighted to be back on land, and all seemed to be in good health. Only one dove was missing.

Noah immediately built an altar and sacrificed some of the animals to the Lord. Then a voice, which Noah identified as the Lord’s, spoke from the sky. It lauded Noah and promised that the world would never again be destroyed by water. The voice asked only that everybody observe some simple dietary laws and not commit murder.

Whoever sheds the blood of man,
by man shall his blood be shed:
for in the image of God
has God made man.

As Lowery read these lines from his notes, some in the audience raised their hands and cried out:

Praise the Lord,
We will worship Him,
We will keep His commandments forever.

Lowery silenced them with a wave of his hand and continued, “Where is Noah?”

A bystander replied, “He’s in jail.”

“In jail! Why?”

“Nobody answered me when I asked that question, so I went to see the sheriff.”

The sheriff listened to my question and replied, “He was convicted on one count of drunkenness, one count of indecent exposure, and three counts of disorderly conduct.”

I asked, “What did he do?”

“As soon as the grapes in his new vineyard were ripe, he made wine. He didn’t even wait for it to age properly. He just got drunk, took off his clothes, and passed out. His sons covered him up with a blanket or something, but when he woke up he cursed all three of them.”

The sheriff offered me a cigar. “We welcome immigrants, especially when they are hardworking people who bring their own livestock, but we don’t like his kind. Maybe a stay in jail will teach him to stay sober, stay dressed, and stop cursing.”

Lowery paused. “I told the sheriff we were eager to have him come back home. He took a big drag on his cigar, blew a perfect smoke ring, and said, ‘I’ve already told you that we don’t like his kind. You’re welcome to him, but first he must serve his sentence. Judge Tanner sentenced him to twelve months, and when he hands out a sentence he expects it to be carried out.’”

Steven Trent banged his gavel and called for order, but the noise of people leaving the room drowned out the sound of his voice. When the noise subsided, members of the Evil Gene Society sat silently, heads bowed, until their spokesman rose and in a barely audible voice said, “We were so sure he didn’t have the gene.” As the group walked from the room, Trent banged the gavel, “The meeting is adjourned.”

© 2005 Glenn W. Fisher

Glenn Fisher is the author of Not to Reason Why (Xlibris) in which he takes the reader into his world as an 18-year-old army draftee in World War II. Wounded during the Siegfried Line campaign in Germany, he spent nearly a year recuperating in an army hospital. This is his story of a "One-Eyed Infantryman in World War II." Glenn also writes fiction and is active in Scribes & Scribblers, his church's creative writing group.

Read Beginnings, Part 1 - The Evil Gene
This is Beginnings, Part 2 - A New Start
Next Issue: Beginnings, Part 3 - Confusion


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Beginnings Part 1 - The Evil Gene

Beginnings Part 1 - The Evil Gene
A Journalistic Journey Through the Book of Genesis
by Glenn W. Fisher

#
The Eden Times
Vol. 1, No. 1

Landlord Evicts Tenants from Luxurious Estate

Eden—Last evening the landlord of the luxurious estate known as The Garden summarily evicted tenants, Adam and Eve. The former tenants would not comment on the reasons for their eviction, and the landlord did not return our call.

The lease on file in the County Registrar’s office does not require the tenants to pay monetary compensation, but requires that the tenants provide companionship to the landlord during his evening walks. A “conditions of occupancy” clause gives the tenants control of all sections of The Garden and all its produce except for the fruit from one tree. Realtors are unable to give a reason for these strange provisions, but they say that violation of either provision would be grounds for eviction.

Richard Thompson, a neighbor, says that the serpent instigated a violation of the conditions of occupancy clause, and that the landlord inflicted corporal punishment on him. Sources say that he was injured so badly he cannot walk. One man claims to have seen him crawling in the dust outside The Garden. The Civil Rights Commission has launched an investigation.

Several of those interviewed by The Times were puzzled by the tenants’ action. Fred Romig, questioned as he left the Boeing plant, said, “They’re crazy. If I had a deal like that I’d have stayed away from that tree.” A housewife, who asked not to be identified, said, “Some people don’t know when they’re well off.”

E. W. Schaeffer, manager of the Eden Security Service, reported that he tried to get the landlord to install a security fence around the tree, but the landlord said, “No, if they can’t obey one commandment, I’ll throw them out.” Schaeffer added, “I guess he learned what everybody in my business knows. You can’t trust anybody.”

The dean of the Business School at Eden University, Dr. Douglas Edwards, said the landlord had badly mismanaged the estate. “He should get rid of all that unmarketable livestock, cut down the tree that produces inedible fruit, and raise the rent to market levels.” The dean went on to say that Eden needs venture capital, and that the landlord would find plenty of opportunities to invest his profits.

Professor Sarah Rubin of the Humanities Department said that Adam and Eve may have deconstructed the order not to eat the fruit and concluded that it had no meaning. “Or,” she added, “They may have been expressing their innate creativity. We try to encourage that in our department.” Professor Henry Scott of the Psychology Department said he would have to interview the subjects before he could make a definitive diagnosis, but he speculated that the tenants might have rebelled against repressive constraints on their behavior.

The Eden Organization for Women’s Rights called a special meeting to discuss the matter. Susan Gilmore-Jones, the president of EOWR, said that there is an organized effort to blame Eve for the violation. “We will document the falsity of this charge, lest it be used to keep women in subjection for thousands of years.” Then she added, “We’ll sue any media organization that makes a false report about Eve’s role in the matter.”

#
The Eden Times
Vol. 1, No. 310

Widespread Repercussions from Eviction Reported

Eden—The dispute over the lease in The Garden, first reported by this paper almost a year ago, continues to attract national attention. Professor James Eleazar, a faculty member at the Eden Theological Seminary, recently published an article claiming the eviction of Adam and Eve from The Garden will have widespread repercussions. “The debate over the meaning of the landlord’s action will affect man’s view of himself and his relationship to his creator.” He said in an interview that it will also affect interpersonal relationships, commercial affairs, and even relationships within marriage.

Commercial affairs have already been affected. The fruit industry, especially the apple industry, has been severely damaged by publicity about the ill effects of eating fruit. Some long- established firms may be forced into bankruptcy. Ralph Miller, owner of a large apple orchard, pointed out that the provisions of the lease on file in the county recorder’s office forbid the consumption of the fruit of a certain tree, but there is no indication that it is an apple tree. “Early reports that it was an apple tree have been uncritically repeated by thoughtless persons.”

A press release from the Eden Fruit Growers Association noted that any variety of fruit is far safer than the high-fat foods produced by the fast-food industry. “Unfortunately, the attention focused on one incident has exaggerated the danger in the public mind.”

#
The Eden Times
Weekend Edition
Vol. 2, No. 30

Adam and Eve's Own Story

Eden—It has been more than a year since Adam and Eve were evicted from The Garden, but controversy over the landlord’s action continues. Many real estate owners say that a landlord has the right to impose conditions on the use of rental property. Others claim that the clause forbidding the tenants to utilize the fruit of the tree was an unreasonable, perhaps unconstitutional, interference with their freedom to make choices about their lifestyle.

In the meantime, Adam and Eve have struggled to adapt to their new life on a farm near here. We found Adam, clothed in leather garments, at work in a small garden. His face was brown from the bright sun and his hands were calloused and bronzed, As we approached, he pulled a thistle from the ground, tossed it on a pile of wilted weeds, wiped the sweat from his face with a big red handkerchief, and invited this reporter to sit with him beneath a nearby tree. We asked him to tell the story.

He reminisced about life in The Garden. “I didn’t have to work very much. The landlord provided everything. There was plenty of food. There were few weeds among the flowers and vegetables. The animals got along well, and they obeyed my every command.”

He said that the landlord often came to visit and always asked if he needed anything. “At first I told him I had everything I needed, but after a while I got lonely and complained a little.” Adam explained that having complete control of the animals gave him a feeling of power, but that after a while it got monotonous. “They were so dumb and so submissive.”

Adam was delighted when the landlord sent Eve to live in The Garden, but he had difficulties adjusting to a creature who didn’t always submit to his wishes. He complained to the landlord, but he replied, “You had the animals. They did whatever you wanted and you weren’t satisfied. You figure out what to do now.”

Adam said, “I thought of ways to handle Eve, but she began to think of ways to manipulate me. We argued a lot until we agreed to take turns making decisions. Then she cheated. She counted every little decision, even the ones we agreed on, as my decisions. Then when a big decision had to be made, she claimed it was her turn. I thought some more and decided that if I did nice things for her, she would be easier to live with.

“I picked flowers and made bouquets. I told her that I, not the landlord, had made them. She was pleased and began to do nice things for me. She figured out ways to make The Garden even more beautiful. Then she learned to cook. I liked the raw fruit right off the trees, but she sliced several kinds, put them on a palm leaf, and said, ‘This is a salad. I made it for you.’”

When Eve brought Adam the fruit of the forbidden tree, he thought she had found a new way of slicing an apple, but then she admitted that it was the forbidden fruit. She told him that the serpent said it was good and that those who eat it know many things.

Adam explained that as soon as he ate the fruit, he noticed that Eve was naked. “I yelled at her, ‘Were you naked when you talked to the serpent?’ She said she didn’t know.

“Didn’t know? ‘You talked to him without noticing that you were naked!’ I told her we had to get some clothes and get dressed before the landlord came for his evening walk. It was bad enough that she’d run around naked before the serpent, and I certainly didn’t want the landlord to see her that way.

“As soon as the landlord saw us, he asked if we had eaten of the fruit of the forbidden tree. Of course, I tried to explain that it was Eve’s fault, and she blamed the serpent. At first I thought he had bought her story, and the serpent would get all the blame. The landlord cursed him. He told the serpent that he would be the lowest of the livestock–that he would crawl on his belly and eat dust.

“Then he told Eve that she would suffer great pain in childbirth and added that he would increase her desire for me, and that I would rule over her. I hated the thought of her in pain, but her increased desire for me, and my ruling over her didn’t sound bad. I admit that I had found getting along with her an interesting challenge to my ability to think, but there is something to be said for being the boss.

“I thought I was going to escape punishment. After all it was clear that the serpent and Eve were responsible, but the landlord was angry and wasn’t thinking clearly. My punishment was the worst of all. He not only cursed me, but he cursed the ground itself. He said I would have to work all my life, and that the ground would produce thorns and thistles. He was right about that. Look at the thistles I’ve pulled this morning–and they’ll just grow back.

“Then he said something really strange. He said that I was taken from the ground, and I would return to dust. I don’t know what he meant by that. I’m not dust. I’m a man. I can work. I can think. I can invent things. I know right from wrong.”

Adam displayed the tools that he had invented, talked about his work, and described his travels. “The work is hard and I resent the injustice, but I try to look on the bright side. The Garden was boring and I had to put up with that bossy landlord. Now I can do what I please.”

When I asked to interview Eve, Adam responded that she was nauseated in the morning and suggested that we come back in the afternoon.

That afternoon, in their modest farmhouse, Eve explained that she had just finished tidying up. “It’s quite a change from The Garden. It was large and beautiful and easy to care for, but this is ours. It’s plenty big for us, and there’s room for a nursery.”

Her face clouded when asked about the eviction from The Garden. She lashed out at the landlord.

“It was very unfair. He told us not to eat of the fruit of that tree, but he didn’t tell us why. There was nothing to do but walk in the garden and watch the birds and animals. That got monotonous after a while. It got worse when we began to think. Adam said he had to learn to think to figure out how to get along with me. Well, maybe so, but sometimes he annoyed me, and I got angry. I didn’t know who was right and who was wrong. In fact, we didn’t know those words then.

“Then the landlord sent the serpent to talk to me–he must have done it, there was no one else. The serpent was very clever, and he was mostly right. I didn’t die when I touched the fruit, and after we ate it we were much smarter. Now we know that it’s wrong to run around naked.

“The serpent also said that if we ate the fruit we would be like the landlord—and he was right about that too. Well, we are not quite as smart, but we can do lots of things that we couldn’t do before. He still tries to tell us what to do, but we don’t always listen to him.

“We do miss The Garden. It was very beautiful, and when I get tired or have morning sickness, I want to go back. The landlord made that silly rule, and then sent a slick salesman to persuade us to break it. He was just looking for a way to break the lease. I wanted to complain to the Consumer Protection Agency, but Adam said not to. So I’ll just stay home and raise a family. I’ll make sure the children are properly cared for and teach them what is right and what is wrong.”

Attempts to interview the serpent were unsuccessful. Reporter Ralph Oman was bitten on the foot when he attempted to approach the serpent’s den. Fortunately, Ralph was wearing his Marine combat boots and was not seriously injured.

#
The Eden Times
Vol. 4, No. 9

Plans for Vacant Property Announced
BY CHRISTOPHER WEAVER, BUSINESS REPORTER

Eden—The County Planning Commission has been holding joint talks with the Chamber of Commerce Economic Development Committee regarding possible development of The Garden. This unique property has been vacant since the original tenants were evicted more than three years ago.

William Crawford, speaking for the Chamber of Commerce committee, told a citizens meeting that it would be a prime tourist attraction. “It’s an absolutely unique property. There’s no other place in the world where one can see such a variety of natural life.” He added that a tourism expert predicted that, if the property were properly developed and advertised, ten million visitors could be expected annually. That would require ten to fifteen thousand hotel rooms and hundreds of restaurants. This horde of visitors would attract other forms of entertainment, and shopping facilities would grow at a rapid rate. With improved transportation, shopping, and entertainment, the area would be attractive as corporate headquarters. “In ten years, Eden will be another Orlando.”

After Crawford’s announcement, Frank Nader, president of the Eden Natural Heritage Association, demanded to be heard. In an emotion-choked voice he denounced the plans as a desecration of our natural heritage. “This is the greatest collection of flora and fauna in the world. Hundreds of endangered species must be protected from tourists.”

Crawford thanked him for his suggestion, and said he would ask the chamber president to establish a subcommittee to develop profitable ways to protect this wonderful natural heritage. He said that it might be possible to obtain a grant to establish a biological and zoological research center. “We could build a hotel for scientists and set aside part of The Garden for research.”

Under questioning from members of the audience, Crawford admitted that the chamber had not yet obtained title or leasehold rights to the property. “The landlord does not answer our messages, but we know that the property is vacant, and the taxes have not been paid. Our legal counsel tells us that we could obtain a tax title in four years. Alternatively, the legislature could define the area as a public park, and we could condemn the property. We could do that in two years, if the local legislative delegation unites behind the proposal.”

In response to another question from the audience, Crawford said no member of the committee had visited the property since it was vacated by the tenants. “We sent a delegation, but they found the property inaccessible. The entrance is blocked by some kind of electronic device.” Crawford added that E. W. Schaeffer, manager of the Eden Security Service, investigated and reported that the property is protected by a new type of security system. He will attempt to contact the manufacturer to learn how it can be turned off. Schaeffer also advises that he will try to obtain manufacturing rights to this highly effective device. It could be another industry for Eden County.

#
The Eden Times
Vol. 30, No. 14

Local Stockman Murdered
BY PATRICIA MCGUIRE

Eden—Abel, a well-known local stockman, was found brutally beaten in his brother’s field yesterday afternoon. Indications are that he died almost instantly. The sheriff reports that Cain, the owner of the field, is being sought in connection with the death.

The brothers are the sons of Adam and Eve who were evicted from The Garden years ago. Upon seeing the body, Eve wiped the blood from Abel’s face, threw herself on his body and wailed, “It would not have happened in The Garden.”

Witnesses believe that the brothers may have had an altercation over a proposed gift to the landlord. No one has been able to explain why they would give gifts to the person who used violation of a minor contract provision as an excuse to evict their parents from the estate. Some suggest that they may have been conspiring to bribe the landlord to readmit the family to the estate. A witness who overheard part of the argument said that he thought they were disagreeing over whether the payments should be grain or livestock.

Another witness, who talked to Cain before he left the country, said that he admitted nothing and showed no remorse. This same witness said that earlier in the day he heard Cain invite Abel to his field to look at his crops. The county attorney, Ralph Cline, said that this suggests the murder was premeditated. “He will be charged with first-degree murder as soon as we apprehend him.”

Carlton Kimble, president of the Eden Pistol Association, called a news conference to announce that this incident would spur the association’s efforts to secure passage of a “concealed carry” law. “There are evil people in the world and good people must be prepared to defend themselves. If this fine young man had been armed, he would be alive today.”

#
The Eden Times
Vol. 30, No. 23

Murder Mystery Deepens
BY PATRICIA MCGUIRE

Eden—Yesterday Sheriff Pat O’Sullivan announced that he had called off the hunt for Cain, wanted for the murder of his brother. “We have reliable information that he has fled to Nod.” The sheriff added that Eden has no extradition treaty with that eastern country, but if Cain ever returns to Eden, he’ll be arrested.

In response to a question from a reporter, the sheriff angrily denied that the landlord had intervened in the case. “I’ve heard the story that the landlord is providing protection to the murderer, but I know nothing about it. If we apprehend him, the county attorney will seek the death penalty.”

This murder has revived interest in the almost forgotten story of The Garden. The mysterious electronic security device that bars entrance is still in place, and all efforts to secure the rights to redevelop the property have failed. Adam lives on a small farm located several miles from The Garden. His wife, Eve, has given birth to several other children. The family is well liked, but strange rumors about them continue to circulate.

It is alleged that all the members of the family are carriers of the mysterious OS gene. Some claim that the gene originated in The Garden, and that it causes a disposition to evil. Scientists disagree among themselves. Some deny that such a gene exists. Others say that an unusual gene may exist, but that genes don’t affect behavior. They claim that life style choices are largely determined by environment, and that genetic factors play a minor role.

Supporters of the “bad gene” theory say that the gene resulted from the tenants’ disobedience in The Garden, and that Adam’s family is destined to spread it to future generations. John Edwards, the leader of a group that supports this theory, told a reporter, “Adam and Eve disobeyed the landlord and brought evil and death into the world.”

The Reverend Doctor Richard Roberts, pastor of the Central Union Church, the largest church in Eden County, told his congregation of five thousand that these stories are being spread by a small radical cult. He urged members of his congregation to expose these false prophets. “The whole idea is contrary to modern theological and scientific understandings of the nature of man. We know that evil is the result of a bad environment.” He urged the members of his congregation to work through government and community organizations to ensure that every child is well nourished and grows up in a loving environment.

When asked to comment on the “evil gene” theory, the sheriff said he didn’t know anything about genes, but he did know how to deal with criminals like Cain. “If he ever sets his foot in Eden, he’ll be on his way to the chair.”

© 2005 Glenn W. Fisher

A Note From the Author:
Beginnings is a biblically-based fantasy. The reader is asked to imagine that newspaper reporters were present when Adam and Eve were evicted from the garden and that curious onlookers greeted the Ark when it landed in Armenia. The reporter’s stories reflect the views and values of secular America, but the issues are timeless and universal.

This book is for the religious person, secure in his or her faith, who wants to examine the biblical stories from a different viewpoint. It is also for those, religious or not, who do not recognize that the stories in their daily newspaper are as old as Genesis.

This is Beginnings, Part 1 - The Evil Gene
Read Beginnings Part 2 - A New Start
Watch for Beginnings Part 3 - Confusion

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Awakening

Awakening
by Stoney M. Setzer

Awakening. With a start and a gasp, as one wakes up out of a nightmare.

Panic. Confusion. Terror. Disorientation.

Not waking up out of a nightmare, but rather into one.

No idea where he is, or how he got here. No memories. As if life had only just begun.

Can’t move. Can’t see. Wrapped from head to toe in something tight, constricting. All is darkness. Nothing is quiet. The sounds of an earthquake and people screaming. So far away.

A smell. The smell of spices, familiar somehow. Like the kind used for...

...funerals...

...wrapped from head to toe, like a mummy...

...buried alive!

Frantic struggles against the wrappings. Seconds take years to pass. Free at last!

Looking around. Still hard to see. So very dark outside...

...outside this tomb.

Never been so scared, so confused, before.

The entrance to the tomb is wide open. No hesitation. Only fleeing out of the tomb...

...and into the graveyard.

Other tombs are open as well. Not all, but some. Their occupants are rushing out. An alarming sight to behold. How much more alarming if he himself were not coming out of a tomb?

The skies are pitch black. Thunder booms. Rain falls.

He is not staying in the graveyard. He runs with the others, neither knowing nor caring where to. He is only interested in away from.

More people running scared, outside the graveyard. Are they afraid of us?

These are coming down from a hill. Running away from.

What is on the hill? Hard to see in the darkness. He stops, straining to see. He does not notice that others from the graveyard do the same thing.

Men in armor. Roman soldiers.

Three huge crosses.

Lightning flashes. Seeing becomes easier, only for a second. Long enough for him to see all he needs to see.

On the crosses hang two men...

...flanking one Man.

Closes his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed. All at once, it comes back.

He remembers now, everything from before. And he knows. He knows more than he ever knew before.

He knows who the Man is.

The Levite straightens himself and walks, this time with the dignity of a member of the priesthood. He has an appointment to keep. An appointment in the holy city of Jerusalem.

He chuckles. He will arrive later than he had planned. Seventy years later, to be exact. Death has a tendency to change one’s schedule.

Only this time it has not prevented. It has only delayed.

No more delays. He has important business. He strides to the holy city to tell the people there about the Lord...

...and about the Man.

© 2007 Stoney M. Setzer
Original fiction debuting at Residential Aliens.

Stoney Setzer is a middle school special education teacher near Atlanta, GA. In addition to spending time with his family, he enjoys writing, reading, watching old movies, and cheering for the Atlanta Braves. Stoney has had stories published in the "Southern Comfort" anthology and "Dragons, Knights and Angels" magazine. He'll have a few more published later this year. The idea for Awakening was inspired by Matthew 27:52-53.

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